X
“Exercises, like “expert lecture” where we stand in front of a group and pretend to be experts, helped me realise that it is me who is an expert on my own life, on myself, and not anyone else. My opinions and beliefs are my own, and I am not wrong to have them. Suddenly, I became aware that I am Nagham, and that Nagham is enough as who she was. I did not need to be anyone or anything thing else during the sessions.”
My name is Nagham, I am 20 years old, and originally from Syria. I have been living in Lebanon with my parents and three siblings since I was 10 years old. I had to stop school a few years before leaving Syria, and I currently have a 3rd-grade education despite trying to continue in Lebanon. My family and I left Syria when I was still young, and I do not have too many memories from there.
I work as a sales assistant in a clothing store in Bchamoun. Some of my colleagues who frequent the humanitarian development organisation Anamel Center in Beirut told me about the amazing Intisar Foundation drama therapy programme they attended there. They said incredible things, that I found a little difficult to believe, but I decided to join the programme of their recommendation and see for myself.
At first, I was not expecting too much. The sessions seemed too slow at the beginning, and although the team from the Intisar Foundation was very friendly and kind, I did not find anything that blew my mind. However, after the first two sessions, I started to see some changes in myself. In retrospect, I can say that the sessions were much more effective than I thought at that moment.
The exercises were very engrossing. I found myself lost in the games because I enjoyed every moment so much that I felt sad when the sessions ended. Before long, all the women in the programme grew very close to each other, and I felt like I belonged among them. I felt safe in telling them private aspects of my life. In some instances, I was sharing things with them that not even my closest friends knew about me. Although I was usually a private person, I felt safe in sharing these things, as many others also shared openly in the sessions. I would go back home and sleep soundly, knowing I trusted the group and that they trusted me.
The activities will remain with me, probably for the rest of my life. I found myself in the sessions, although I never felt like I could find myself anywhere. The freedom to express and explore myself never existed anywhere else, and I do not think will exist anywhere else.
Exercises, like “expert lecture” where we stand in front of a group and pretend to be experts, helped me realise that it is me who is an expert on my own life, on myself, and not anyone else. My opinions and beliefs are my own, and I am not wrong to have them. Suddenly, I became aware that I am Nagham, and that Nagham is enough as who she was. I did not need to be anyone or anything thing else during the sessions.
“Before, I would second guess myself, I would wonder what others had to say about me and my choices. But now, being self-assured is so liberating because I never have to think twice about my decisions. I learned to love myself in ways I cannot describe, I am happy with who I am and I can further improve myself, but this does not mean that I need to be “fixed”.”
While I cannot say that I was not confident in my intelligence or beauty before the sessions, they certainly did help me become sterner and reduced my hesitation. Before, I would second guess myself, I would wonder what others had to say about me and my choices. But now, being self-assured is so liberating because I never have to think twice about my decisions. I learned to love myself in ways I cannot describe, I am happy with who I am and I can further improve myself, but this does not mean that I need to be “fixed.”
My stress and anger issues also subsided. I cannot say exactly why I used to get irritated so easily, especially with my brother. But exercises in the sessions, when we would breathe deeply, stretch our bodies, and do controlled movements, proved to be very effective in day-to-day situations. I now repeat those activities when I am at work, using my body’s natural ability to relax.
The programme, all in all, also helped me reflect on myself and my life as a whole. I realised how my past has shaped me, and how I can change my present to shape my future. My hopes and aspirations are not silly little dreams, they are what keeps me going.
I hope other women will join Intisar Foundation’s drama therapy programme. Even if there are no issues in your life, you can improve yourself, and your outlook on life, and you can feel happier and more fulfilled. I want to thank HH Sheikha Intisar AlSabah for thinking about women and noticing a need for supporting our mental health that most of us were not even aware of.
Leave a Reply