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“The smallest things used to make me angry, often to the point that I behaved very negatively. For example, I would often hit my children when they misbehaved. Throughout the Intisar Foundation programme, I learned that I could control these negative thoughts and behaviours, and that they, in fact, made my life harder than it needed to be.
For me, self-empowerment came from self-control.”
My name is Ayyat. I am a 30-year-old Palestinian-Syrian resident of the Shatila refugee camp. I finished 9th grade and I am unemployed. I’m a married mother of five. I live with my two sisters and children.
Over these past few years, I have had little comfort in my daily life due to the circumstances of living as a refugee in Lebanon. When I was living in Syria, my life was very comfortable and happy. We had a house and a car. My husband had a good job, and we were very happy. During the Syrian war, we lost our house, and we were not able to rebuild it. Our car was stolen after we had left it with an acquaintance. In the end, we had to flee to Lebanon to preserve our lives and the lives of our children.
The first few years in Lebanon were good, because we were able to afford a decent life. However, the recent downturn in Lebanon has changed my life drastically. I never imagined I would have to sign up at NGOs to receive monthly food support or household items.
Due to these recent circumstances, we can barely provide necessities for our children or ourselves. Almost every day feels like a new challenge, from my children getting injured to unexpected problems arising left and right. Recently my daughter suffered an injury to her eye after glue was sprayed in her face by accident and hospitals have refused to treat her. My son fell and had an open wound to his head.
Yet, I thank God every day.
I first heard about the Intisar Foundation in 2020 at the Beit Atfal Assmoud (NICSVT) centre in the Shatila camp. When we started the drama therapy sessions, I found myself feeling more at ease and happy. I was able to express myself and relieve stress by sharing my thoughts, and emotions with with a group of women we did the sessions with. My experiences with the programme were very positive, from start, to middle, to the end. At first, I found the activities, such as body movements and dance, a little strange because I had never done anything like that before. However, later on, I would wait all week, minute by minute, for the day of the sessions to arrive so that I could go and vent everything I had been holding within me. Every session was unique, the exercises and the meditations where we imagined that we were on a beach or in a different city. It lifted us out of our sadness and allowed us to share all our stories. Even when I cried during the sessions, I felt better afterwards. The best part was towards the end of the programme, when we started to go up on stage and tell our stories openly. I did not feel shy or repressed. Once the programme ended, I was sad because I could no longer see the women I did the sessions with. I really wish we could get together once more.
“Even when I cried during the sessions, I felt better afterwards. The best part was towards the end of the programme, when we started to go up on stage and tell our stories openly.
I did not feel shy or repressed.”
The drama therapy programme by Intisar Foundation helped me find my calmness. The smallest things used to make me angry, often to the point that I behaved very negatively. For example, I would often hit my children when they misbehaved. Throughout the programme, I learned that I could control these negative thoughts and behaviours, and that they, in fact, made my life harder than it needed to be. For me, self-empowerment came from self-control. I learned to treat myself and my children differently, and furthermore, I found that they behaved better when I was calm and controlled. They are now much more responsive to me.
My advice to women in the Arab world is to join the drama therapy programmes by Intisar Foundation if they can. The programme will remove hopelessness and improve their well-being. I would like to tell them that no matter how angry or emotional they get, they can always release this negative energy by exercising or going out and seeing people, spending productive time with their children, like teaching them to cook or play. I hope all Arab women will work towards improving their own and their children’s lives.
“I learned to treat myself and my children differently, and furthermore, I found that they behaved better when I was calm and controlled.
They are now much more responsive to me.”
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