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“ When I stood on the stage with everyone in my drama therapy group looking at me and listening attentively, I felt something I never felt before in my life.
Not being an important person, but a visible person.
I felt like a person that exists. I saw changes in my daily life, I became stronger because I finally understood that I am a person, not just a vase.”
My name is Maya, I am 46 years old, and I live with my husband and three children in the Shatila Refugee Camp in Beirut.
I was born in the Naher El Bared camp in Tripoli and spent most of my early years there. My parents had a total of seven children including me, three boys and four girls. My father would leave the house early in the morning and come home late at night, trying his best to provide for us to eat and survive. And my mother, God rest her soul, did everything she could to keep us happy.
When I was little, I was usually shy and quiet, and because of the harsh circumstances in which we grew up, I had no friends and was unable to complete my education. I always felt like I was nobody, like a vase on a table or an old plate in the cabinet. Even though I was close to my elder sister, growing up with six siblings made it difficult for me to learn to speak when I wanted to. I had always had the impression that I wasn’t being seen or heard.
My husband wanted to go to Beirut for better job possibilities and a better life after we got married. So, we went to the Shatila Refugee Camp, and I took care of my three children, ensuring that they received the attention and love they needed. My husband is a good man, but he’s also reserved and conservative. Being a woman and a mother in the Shatila camp is also extremely challenging- you constantly worry about your safety and the safety of your children, as well as about their future.
“ I was used to keeping quiet about my personal life as I was always told that people will spread and share everything I tell them, and I must keep my life private, but seeing other women being so comfortable with sharing and expressing gave me the courage to speak about myself. Even in small parts, I felt good about it. I was heard, listened to, by the group and everyone in the room, unlike during my childhood. This was something new to me.”
In early 2020, I was contacted by the social workers in Beit Atfal Asmoud to attend a theatre programme. I’ve always been interested in these activities and quickly signed up because I wanted to do something for myself, not just my family. As a result, I enrolled in the Intisar Foundation drama therapy programme.
The first two sessions were very fun- it appeared that we were playing games and moving around a lot. As the training continued, I began to see a change in myself.
I was quite shy when I first started out and couldn’t speak openly about myself. Around me, many of the ladies spoke freely about their experiences during the war, life in the camp, their children, and other issues that concerned them.
I was used to keeping quiet about my personal life as I was always told that people will spread and share everything I tell them, and I must keep my life private, but seeing other women being so comfortable with sharing and expressing gave me the courage to speak about myself. Even in small parts, I felt good about it. I was heard, listened to, by the group and everyone in the room, unlike during my childhood. This was something new to me.
Until then, my voice was reserved for calling on my children and speaking to the sellers in the market. In the drama therapy sessions, I realised that I could use my voice to speak about myself, not just to manage my daily life.
When I stood on the stage with everyone in my drama therapy group looking at me and listening attentively, I felt something I never felt before in my life. Not being an important person, but a visible person. I felt like a person that exists. I saw changes in my daily life, I became stronger because I finally understood that I am a person, not just a vase.
I feel that the Intisar Foundation drama therapy programme gave me the push to change for the better, with my family and towards myself. I hope all women get the chance to experience the drama therapy programmes by Intisar Foundation.
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